


A Different Awakening (A "What-if" Finn Fanfic)

by Sceritz



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22340626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sceritz/pseuds/Sceritz
Summary: FN-2187 was a Stormtrooper that defected from the First Order. But after he runs into The Resistance, he learns that he was destined to be something greater, all along.(A "What-If" Star Wars Fanfic, starting at the End of Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens. Recounting what may have happened if Finn was "Awakened," instead of Rey.)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

__

_There is no fight against the First Order. Not one we can win. We all need to run._

Starkiller Base was falling apart. The Resistance, against all odds, had succeeded in causing total integrity failure of the planet turned weapon. A planet that could harness the power of a sun and use it to destroy systems from thousands of light years away. In moments, it would be completely destroyed.

Even as Finn stands on the planet sized weapon, he can't help but think of the after. That this was a lucky, one in a million shot. That was is a good punch, but that the end, it still won't be enough. That this will only piss off the intergalactic bear that is the First Order, and that it will rip every last vestige of The Resistance into shreds. 

Finn should run. He should stop pretending there is any hope for them at all. Not the Resistance. Not Rey. Not him. The rational part of him knows this and yet some audacious determination anchors his feet to the ground. Some foolhardy instinct for hope, where there shouldn't be. He wants to ignore it. He wants to save everybody by convincing them that the best option is to simply run. Scatter to the Outer Rim. The Unknown Regions even. Somewhere the First Order will never find them. But something inside just won't let him do it.

The snow crunches under Finn's feet as he tries to muster the courage to turn face the dark figure that is stalking towards him. He still leans over Rey, the scavenger girl from a desert planet. His friend who is unconscious after being thrown against a nearby tree with a power he can't even begin to comprehend.

"Traitor!" Kylo Ren's roar rips from his throat like a feral beast. The man is in all black holding the angry crimson, crossblade lightsaber. An amalgam of hate, grief, fear, despair, the smallest flicker of regret... and the possibility of light. Finn doesn't know how he can discern any of this. Maybe it's that feeling that he's ignoring. Maybe it's the reason he hasn't pulled the other lightsaber from Rey's hands despite its silent call. The weapon of Jedi Knight. A hilt holding the power of an energy blade. He gave her the weapon because he was afraid of what he saw when he touched it. A warrior wading through armies of droids. A young boy on a desert planet. A past of hard labor and combat training. A future where... no. None of it was real. It was all just some strange vivid dream... wasn't it?

Finn looks at the lightsaber again, and takes it in his hand before turning to face Kylo Ren. His adversary is a mess. Half limping. Holding his bleeding gut where he'd been impacted by a heavy crossbow bolt. The wookie, Chewbacca, shot him with it after Kylo Ren killed Han Solo. A shot that would've proved fatal if it wasn't for Chewie's unsteady aim brought on by the rage of having last his best friend. A blow that by all accounts, should have killed him and yet he persists.

Finn lifts the saber. It's heavy but the weight isn't physical. Its density is determined by something far more profound. Something that Finn continues to ignore. This is a tool. Nothing more. A weapon to defend himself. That's it. It doesn't _need_ to speak to him in the way that he somehow knows it's trying to. He isn't afraid. He just... needs to focus. Right. He activates it.

The weapon ignites into a blue blade of tenacious energy. It hums as its power vibrates through his hands in the same way that it did when he fought his old comrade, "Nines," on Takodona. And like then, the voice grows louder. That nudge that vies for his attention is that much more persistent. But he ignores it. He must fight a Sith. He needs to focus and whatever this thing wants, it can wait.

"That Lightsaber!" Kylo Ren shouts, long locks of hair strewn all over his haggard face. "It belongs to me." 

Something about this statement does not sit right with Finn... or seemingly, the blade itself. It seems to pull in on itself in revulsion. But how? It's just an inanimate object. But Ren's words fortify Finn's resolve. He crouches into a defensive stance. "Come and get it." 

Nothing that happens in these next few moments can convince Finn that Kylo Ren is human. The man should be dead from blaster fire, but instead he is moving faster than any human possibly can. The red crackling saber in his hand is a violent discord of rageful hums and errant snaps as it swings and makes contact with Finn's blade.

Instinct takes over and years of training using riot batons and vibrostaffs came into play, but it is no match against the Sith's superior combat technique. Every swing throws Finn's blade further off. 

Something hot sears across Finn's ribs and he falters. He's sure he's dead. Feebly holds his weapon up, prepared to die a valiant death. But the death blow never comes.

Finn is surprised to notice that Kylo Ren has turned away and is... beating his wound with his fist. Is it... some way to cope with the pain? But Finn feels something as Kylo pounds his torso. With the impact comes a spike in his... _something_. Is it power? It's like... he's harnessing the pain, somehow using it to fuel himself. Finn doesn't know how he could possibly know this, but he is sure of it.

Kylo turns back on Finn, even more aggressively than before. He is forced to give ground, but he guards, and guards and... his back hits a tree and Kylo hammers is saber against his. He can feel the heat of the clashing energy beams on his face as Kylo leans into him. One of the exhaust ports of the crossblade saber digs into his shoulder and Finn cries out. The adrenaline from the pain gives him just enough strength to push Kylo off, if only to escape it. 

Finn gasps for breath as the planet rumbles. It's being destroyed. If this doesn't end soon, they will both be dead along with it.

Kylo Ren beats his wound again as he paces. "You are nothing but a treasonous turncoat. You don't respect the power you hold in your hands. You don't have any grasp on The Force!" 

The Force? Han Solo and Maz Kanata both mentioned that mystical power. It can't be real, can it? And yet... Finn has seen Kylo Ren's power. How he grasped a blaster bolt mid shot back on Jakku. How he threw Rey without touching her. How he moves when he should be dead. Is this The Force? Is it what has been calling to him? Maybe Kylo Ren is right. Maybe he simply has not grasped what has been reaching out to him for all this time. Finn takes a deep breath... and he stops. He stops resisting the call.

Then the world changes.

Finn is no longer standing in the snow on a slowly dismantling planet. He is standing in a world that looks as if has been dipped in brown and yellow. The smog-like air is arid, and the earth beneath his feet is cracked, hard and dry. There is blaster fire all around flashing in red tinted lights, accompanied by the occasional explosion and a cacophony of shouting voices. There is a group in tribal uniforms fighting off what appears to be a host of barbarian raiders.

He hears he familiar hum of a lightsaber that isn't his own, and he turns to see a woman holding a blue blade, cutting down a raider before turning her attention to him. Her face cycles through a few expressions. First there is the confusion… quiet awe… and then a smile of pure happiness. "You!"

Finn furrows his brow in disbelief. "You?"

She retracts her saber and moves towards him. "I see you finally stopped running."

"What is this? How am I here?" He looks around and sees this strange new planet... and the snow of Starkiller Base, somehow coinciding with one another. 

"You aren't here. This is the Force." She's still grinning. "And you're listening to it." 

"This cannot be how the Force works!" Finn shouts. 

"It's one of the ways, at least,” she assures him

"I don't understand how you're here. After everything. What happened after-"

"Shhh..." she says with a finger to her lips. "Not the time or place, for either of us." As if to make her point another explosion sounds, not far off. "You have a fight to finish." She continues to move forward, seemingly unrattled by the war around her.

Finn shakes his head. "I don't know if I can do it."

"You can. Now that you've opened yourself to The Force, you can." She's just inches from him now.

Finn searches her eyes, perhaps looking for hope. "How? I don't know how any of this works."

"Feel the Force, and let _it_ guide your instincts. Now's not the time for thinking. Just act."

"None of that makes any sense to me."

She smiles. "It will. Here, let me help." She puts two fingers on his forehead. The touch feels like a hammer hitting his head, but instead of pain there's just a brief dense pressure and then... clarity.

The world falls away. She is gone. He is back on Starkiller Base. Kylo Ren is just a few feet away, watching him. And Finn watches him back, truly seeing him for the first time. Finn lifts the blade and takes a deep breath. "Okay." 

Kylo Ren tilts his head in confusion, and then realization dawns on him. "Oh. It's you."

Finn nods as he crouches. "Let's go, Kylo Ren." 

The both of them yell battle cries and charge at one another. Kylo Ren is just as fast as he was before, but Finn no longer feels that it is impossible to keep up. He is a soldier, trained in hand to hand and melee weapon combat. He has no reason to doubt them. Even as Kylo Ren gains ground as he did before, Finn does not lose hope or resolve. He simply adjusts.

Behind Kylo Ren the earth fissures. The ground cracks and tears in two, creating a valley that would claim the life of any who would be so unfortunate to slip from its cliff. Finn doesn't think of winning or losing. Nor does he focus on the planet deconstructing beneath him. There is only the Force and his opponent.

Even as Kylo advances, Finn can feel his pain. He can feel him drawing upon it to fuel his attacks. Every angry swing of the red saber is heavier but also, that much less precise. This is, of course, a staple of Ren's unorthodox fighting style, but Finn can tell that he's losing form.

Finn thinks he sees an opening. He takes the opportunity and... the Sith, despite his wound, despite the pain pouring from it, and despite what had _looked_ like an opening, performs a deft feint and sends his blade clean through Finn's torso in an arc that separates his upper body from his lower half.

And yet...

Finn remains whole. He feels a sensation like heavy wind pass through what would have been the separation point. When he looks down at his body, it is intact. That, however, does not explain the bright, translucent shimmering that his body seems to be briefly engaged in before returning to flesh and blood.

Kylo Ren, standing in stunned awe, doesn't seem to be able to comprehend it either. 

Finn isn't sure what the sensation is that prompts him, nor exactly why he lifts his open palm and jabs it in Kylo Ren's direction, but he does. When Kylo Ren is sent flying through the air over the fissure, and into a snow covered, collapsing rock formation on the other side, Finn stares back at his hand in disbelief. But there is no time for explanation now. _Now_ he should run. 

He beelines to Rey, and picks up her unconscious form, and then hefts her to their ship, The Millennium Falcon. Once aboard, Chewbacca takes off. Seconds after that, they enter hyperspace, and Starkiller Base is no more.

The following day at Resistance Command is a blur. They celebrate the destruction of the First Order's super weapon and they grieve the lives lost to make that mission a success. Including that of Han Solo. After meeting with General Leia, they were able to piece together the map that lead to Luke Skywalker, the long-lost Jedi. The entire battle had been about finding him. "You should go," Finn says to Leia. "He's your brother. No one knows him like you,"

Leia, leader of the Resistance, shakes her head. "No, Finn. This isn't my journey to make. I spoke to Luke long ago, before he left. I didn't change his mind then and I won't now. What Luke needs is inspiration from a new hope, to remind him why we need him. Why we need the Jedi."

"New hope? Then what do we do? Who goes to get him?" Finn asks.

Rey, who had been recently woken up with only cosmetic damage, chuckles at him. "She means you, Finn. You should go."

"What? Me? No no no no no. This isn't my job. I can't meet Luke. I'm not qualified for that!" Finn is horrified at the idea.

"You are and you will," Leia says. "Something has awakened in you, Finn. Something that only my brother can explain to you in proper terms. Go find him. Learn from him. And then bring him back to us.

"I'll go with you," Rey says. 

Finn hesitates. When Finn left the First Order, he didn't know what he would do. But he knew he had to get away from them. He saved Poe Dameron, the pilot that owned the little BB droid that held half of the map to Luke Skywalker. Then he ran into Rey and that little BB droid on a nowhere desert planet, and they turned his life upside down. He ran from the First Order, and found the Resistance. He found purpose. He found others to stand by his side and he wasn't going to run anymore. "Together, then?"

Rey smiles. "Together."

_To be continued..._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn seeks out Luke Skywalker on Ahch-To.

  
  


Ahch-To is a planet covered largely by oceans of restless waters. The small island that serves as home to Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, is tiny in comparison, and rocky hills made it difficult to find a suitable place to land the Millennium Falcon that didn't require them to have to make an arduous climb to the top. Finn considers this a small problem in the grand scheme.

The rest of the Resistance fleet is on the run from the First Order, desperately looking for a place to relocate. They are relying on him, of all people to find Luke Skywalker and bring him back into the fight in in hopes that he can tip the scales in their favor. Rey, Chewbacca, and the droid R2-D2, accompanied him on this trip into the unknown regions of uncharted space. Finn doubts any of them truly realize how much their presence means to him. 

Chewbacca has been a war hero for decades. A wookie who traveled the galaxy alongside Han Solo, saving it from the Empire and pissing off bounty hunter guilds in the process. R2-D2 seems to have seen more than any of them, and he traveled with Luke Skywalker himself into battle against the most impossible odds and always found triumph. And Rey. Rey is one of the bravest people Finn's ever met. Ever since he found her on Jakku, watched her fight those thugs, leave her planet, and join the Resistance, it's been her that has inspired him to keep going.

Finn thought that it should have been her that held the saber. Her that would climb to see Luke. But when he asked her, she only said, "It's not me, Finn. It's you. You feel and understand things in a way I simply can't grasp. I will be with you on every step of this journey. But the journey is yours to make."

So, it is Finn that spends the better half of the morning hiking to the pinnacle of Ahch-To. Just a boy who was a no one, taken and bred into soldier-hood by the First Order. The boy who grew into a man under their harsh conditioning and brain washing. A man who completed all of their rigorous physical training and combat instruction to become a soldier. A soldier that at his first battle, refused to pull the trigger and take innocent lives. He was a runaway. But that was all. How could this possibly qualify him to seek out the Last Jedi? The last of the galaxy's most powerful and valiant warriors? All he is, is a defector who stumbled upon a lightsaber. Nothing more.

When Finn arrives at the island's pinnacle, the sun is high overhead. And there at the end of the final stone path, he sees him. The man is dressed in robes, looking out over the ocean, as if waiting for him. Of course he knew he was coming. 

Finn approaches with cautious regard nonetheless. As he closes the distance to just a few feet, Luke Skywalker turns around and looks him in the eye. Finn pauses and is of course speechless, and of course realizes that he hasn't said anything all too late and Luke beats him to the punch. "Yeah, this isn't going to work."

Finn furrows his brow. "Wait, what?" 

Luke is already walking away. "Go home. Whatever you want, you're not getting it from me."

Finn's jaw drops. "You are Luke Skywalker, aren't you? The last Jedi?"

"It doesn't matter who am, and before you inevitably tell me, I don't care who you are, either."

The man is halfway down the path when Finn runs after him and blocks his descent. "Wait!" He produces the lightsaber. "Does this mean anything to you?"

Luke's eyes slowly travel down to the silvery hilt in Finn's hand. He studies it for a long, hard moment and then sighs. "You don't want to get wrapped up in my life, kid. Go home." Luke shoulders his way past him, a little less than gently.

"It's yours, isn't it? I know it is. Leia sent me." Finns trails after him again. 

"And I told her not to."

"She told me that it belongs to you."

"She shouldn't have told you that, either."

Finn finds his way in front of Luke again. "They're dying out there, Luke. The Resistance. They need you."

Luke closes his eyes as if practicing some sort of anger dispersal ritual. "No, they don't. They just think they do."

"I've seen what the Force can do. I've fought Kylo Ren. I've seen his power. No one out there can fight that."

Luke tilts his head and narrows his eyes. "You fought him?"

"Yes."

"And you're still alive?"

"Yes I'm- wait." Finn furrows his brows. "Why is that so surprising? I'm a capable guy. I can be capable. I fought him 1 on 1." Finn unconsciously pumps out his chest.

Luke shakes his head and keeps walking, albeit a little slower now. He doesn't seem to be putting in as much effort to escape. "It's not that, it’s... never mind." 

"What is it? I get that he's powerful but the Force works both ways doesn't it? Light and dark?"

"That's what's bothering me."

"What? That there's two sides?"

"No. The fact that you have the Force."

Finn twists his face. "Selfish, much?"

"If you have the Force, and that lightsaber, and you found me, that means that the Force is doing that irritating thing it does when it tries to forge people's destinies. But I'm not that guy anymore. My Jedi training days are over."

"Then don't train me. Just come back. Beat the First Order. Balance the scales."

Luke scoffs and mutters, "Balance." They've reached a small village- if one could call a collection of four of five huts a village- and they stop in front of the door to one of the dome shaped huts. "No one truly understands the meaning of that word."

Finn stops behind Luke at the door. "Then, what do you expect us to do then?"

Luke shrugs "I can't help you. And I couldn't help you if I wanted to. I cut my connection to the Force a long time ago."

Finn frowns. "Why would you do that?"

"It's complicated." Luke gives him one last look, and then shuts the door. 

"Hey!" Finn shouts and bangs on the door. "Hey, you can't just leave me out here!"

"Go home." Luke shouts from inside.

Finn hits the door. "Home? I don't have a home! And neither will anyone else after the First Order gets to them!"

There's no reply.

"You're selfish, you know that? When Leia sent me here, this isn't what I expected. I heard stories about you being a great hero. The one man that blew up the Death Star back in the Empire days. The guy who broke up the largest crime enterprise on Tatooine and started a new Jedi Order. Hell, there's even legends that you put down a Force Vampire! Who even knew those existed!?" 

There's not even a peep from inside.

Finn sighs and sits on the ground, leaning against the door. "I've been on the other side. I've seen what they do." He's speaking more softly now- resigned. "I was trained to make people comply. To swiftly shut down any opposition with ruthless indiscretion. I knew it was wrong, so I left. I get to the Resistance and they've got ships. A few. Maybe a one in a million pilot or two... but all they really have is passion and hope. It's the kind of raw emotion that I've never seen before. Something we'd never see in the First Order, because all we are, are numbers. Like FN-2187. The Resistance has got the kind of passion and hope that could power an entire system if you could convert it into raw energy. I see that... and I smile with tears in my eyes... Because all that hope... it just isn't enough."

Finn listens for a sound from inside, but there's nothing. He sighs and gets to his feet.

Over the course of the next two days, Finn treks to the bottom of the mountain, and back up again, at least twice. He tells the others of Luke's stubbornness, and assures them that he doesn't plan to take "no" for an answer. They inform him that after a few close calls with the First Order, the Resistance has managed to make it undetected to Crait, where there is an old Alliance stronghold for them to set up a temporary base until they find something better. Admiral Ackbar, one of the Resistance's top commanders, has been dispatching units to find Resistance help where they can.

By the end of first week, Finn had developed a daily ritual. Rey had come up with a good way to fish with some pretty reasonable success on the island's Northeast embankment. For the first few days she did all of the food gathering, but after that he asked her to let him handle it. It gave him something to wake up to. After gathering a sizable haul for the day, that fed Chewie enough to keep him from roasting the cute furry local porgs that Rey tended to befriend, Finn took to the hike. He made it his mission to keep a quick pace all the way up. It turned out to be more difficult than most hills in the training academy, but he welcomed the feeling of familiar challenge. It helped stay his frustration at Luke, The First Order, and even himself for not being able to grasp the Force how he wanted to. 

Once at the top, he'd beat on Luke's door for 15 minutes or so. As always, he'd get no response. He hadn't even see the old man since that first day. He could've left the planet for all he knew. He did notice the locals, a race called the Lanai, that quickly employed him in helping to maintain the other houses on the island. He found the experience to be therapeutic. Helping others wasn't something that he often had the opportunity to do in the First Order. Plus, he was able to get a closer look at things with them as guides, like the Uneti tree full of Jedi texts, and caverns created by Jedi from long ago. He began reading the texts, as they urged him to with great encouragement. In the midst of his studies, he came to learn that Ahch-To was the birthplace of the Jedi order.

After laboring with the locals, he'd then peel off his shirt an revel in the cool offered by the altitude at the top plateau, retrieve the lightsaber, and launch into training. Fighting with a saber, was similar to fighting with a vibrostaff, but very different all the same. While the staff held weight, the saber was lithe and capable of moving faster than any other melee weapon he'd ever held. More to the point were the choices of combat style. He could fight two handed, or with one. With a high offensive pose or a middle hybrid posture. And while a staff or control baton usually came with a shield, the lightsaber doubled as attack and defense at the same time. He was not accustomed to this.

Finn would picture that his chrome clad commander, Captain Phasma was there, giving him instruction, just as she had after joining the FN unit. Even in his mind, she was cold, and callous, and he could only ever picture her with that shiny stormtrooper helmet on... because she never took it off. He tried to merge her lessons with what he thought he knew about sabers... and found that he knew very little. Still he trained for familiarity, and the weapon became very comfortable in his hands. 

But he found quickly that without direction, he would be getting nowhere, fast. "Argh!" he cries out one day, after singeing his arm in a spinning technique that he'd made up completely from imagination. That was probably a bad idea, considering his experience with the weapon. He retracts the blade and then stares at it. "Why don't you at least talk to me again? I'm not ignoring the Force anymore. I'm right here. I'm listening. Just..." he stares at the saber in his hand. Nothing. 

"Argh!" He throws the saber over the cliff, knowing that even as he does it, he's going to have to go down after it. Except it doesn't go over the cliff. Instead, it lands into her hand. 

"Hey, you." She smiles.

Finn is no longer just on Ahch-To, and it is no longer just mid-day. It is also night time on a planet with lush green grasses and flowers as tall as trees. "There you are! Yes! I did it!" he laughs.

"Did you? How do you know it wasn't me?" She's holding a large jug atop her hand head with one hand. It looks to be full of water. The other holds the lightsaber. 

"I reached out," Finn says excitedly. "I reached out and I got you." 

"Yeah you reached out pretty hard. I bet you would've hit me up side the head with this saber if I wasn't paying attention." She takes the jug off her head and sets it down next to her.

"My saber! You're holding my saber! How?"

"How? I don't know. I see you aren't fighting to the death right now though, so maybe we can talk about it. You should put a shirt on though. Not flattering."

"Hey!"

"What? Not really what I want to see when I look at you. Just saying." She chuckles and tosses the lightsaber back.

Finn rolls his eyes as he catches it. "So, how do we explain this?"

"It's some sort of connection. I could feel you before in the Force, but it was like you weren't answering the transmission. Then a few days ago you did, and it was very, very clear."

"But that wasn't me. That was the lightsaber," Finn says, holding the weapon up.

"That lightsaber has history. I've heard the Force imprints itself on objects that are often around powerful Force-beings. And given that kyber crystals are force-sensitive objects themselves... I think it just woke you up."

"An awakening," Finn says, recounting Leia's words.

"Yes," she smiles. 

"We have a lot to talk about."

"And we will, once we get better at this."

"But we don't even know what this is, " Finn says, even as he feels the connection beginning to wane.

"You worry too much. We'll figure it out." She reaches down for the jug again.

"How are you not freaking out about this?"

"Because I'm happy. We're connected now, and I don't think there's anything in the galaxy that can separate us." Her eyes speak a truth louder than her words. "So do we have to keep calling each other 'you' or..."

"Finn," Finn says. "I'm Finn now." More of her world starts to disappear as it is replaced with more of Ahch-To.

She raises her brows. "I like it. Simple, but it fits."

"And what about you? You're not TZ-1719 anymore, are you?"

"Well it's not Tess. I know you simple named folk might guess something like that," she says and sticks her tongue at out him.

"'Ha ha,' c'mon, before the connection blinks out."

"My name's Jannah. Nice to meet you, Finn." 

Finn smiles. "Jannah..."

And then she's gone, and he's fully back in Ahch-To, holding the saber. He smiles to himself and then laughs out loud. He begins leaping about. He ignites the saber and cuts one of the small stone spires nearby as he howls in glee. "Woooo!" And then he turns to face Luke Skywalker, who he nearly decapitates in his joy. 

Luke doesn't flinch. He simply looks at the glowing saber a few inches from his face.

Finn's face makes an "O" before he retracts the saber. "I'm sorry. I uh... didn't see you there."

"So, who was it?" Luke asks. 

Finn's eyes widen. "You saw that? I thought... I mean, I don't know how it works but..." 

"Who. Was. It?" Luke asks again.

"Oh. It... it was my sister."

"Hm." Luke nods, as if mulling something over in his head. After a moment or two he turns away, making his way back towards the huts. Finn watches him go, wondering if he should say something. 

Luke speaks without turning around. "Be right here at dawn. Bring some of that fish. Fire-roasted." Then he goes into his hut, and shuts the door.


End file.
